14th September 2008...2day is a mooncake festival. First, i wan 2 say Happy MoonCake Festival 2 myself. Bt, im not happy after all. I oso didnt feel unhappy, it is more close 2 frustrated. This is hw i feel. Every years, im alone playing lantern o didnt play, i just c the kids playing happily 2gether n hear their laughing.. So happy, innocent and enjoy. Bt me.....LONELY dis word has haunted me for 18 years. I really envy those children. Sometimes, i do feel nice 2 be alone, bt my heart is not cooperate wit me. Whenever im enjoying the moment being alone, it make me think of sad things, my heart wan 2 tel me 'it' is crying inside.......bt y whn i put myself 2 cry, i cant cry, my tear wont fall....... izit bcoz im 2 frustrated oredi????????
I really hope every festival 2 come.. bt whn dat day really arrive, i never really feel happy o enjoy it.... My smile n my happiness is all fake...... I owes keep telling myself im happy, im vry happy, bt y whn im in my room, i cant smile anymore............
Im not happy for all the time izit?????? i duno...... i sometimes suspect myself got pyscho prob...... well, maybe......... dis year im vry li hai o...i didnt ask any 1 of myself 2 accompany me...i pass it all alone ALONE.........
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