Sorry...Im really sorry

Yest after i went to c Doc Lee, my mood not gud until now. Bcoz he said the thing in my leg bcome bigger n he afraid is tumour. So, he recommend us to ask opinion from A prof Pan from unimas. He is specialist in cancer n tumour. I knw it will be ok, coz the doc didnt say is something cancerous, he just say is invasive........so nting 2 b afraid of...bt im just 2 sensitive n think 2 much... B4 nwing the result, i wil cont 2 b sad n think negatively...

Apart from dat, im sad bcoz my leg is pain. It restrict my movement, so i feel depressed. Whn i c the ppl of my age, can jump,play n walk properly like a normal ppl, i feel sad, coz im different..i cant even walk properly...im ni longer as active as b4... i cannot wear high heel shoes, i cannot drive, i cannot do sports and activities dat i lik........n think of dis i wan 2 cry...

Since yest, i owes cry..coz i scared... mayb the thing wont b dat serious, every1 try 2 calm me down, bt i cannot control myself...i feel so depressed...bcoz of dis, i make bro kim unhappy..

i knw he care 4 me alot.. he dun wan me sad...bt i just cant control myself 2 b not sad...after he knw, he bcome so depressed..i try 2 cheer him out, bt i fail 2 do so......i feel so sorry 2 him....... i duno wat i can do........

Im really sorry...bcoz of me, he bcome so sad.......hope he will feel better 2mrw......i do wrong again.........haiz......

Beijing Olimpik 2008 closing ceremony

2day is the last day of olimpik. The time really past so fast...it seem lik only yesterday i watched the opening ceremony and now oredi close. Seem a bit pity. 2day food fair oso is the last day. But i didnt go...... This year i only go 2 times. 4 me la, dis year, everything seem past so quickly.......Duno y....

2nite the closing ceremony is so amazing, the opening ceremony 2.........i lik the fuwa, so cute....2day i spent my time chatting chatting and chatting nia...i didnt do my assignment at all....haha.....Nvm, i still got time...

N im trying 2 ask hui something, bt duno y 2nite, i hesitated.........haiz...........anyway i oso make an effort 2 ask him.......but sometimes i feel sad oso bcoz i knw dat he, bro kim n i, three ppl cannot b forever bro n sis..there is still a different between us...bt the most important is dat i afraid our friendship wont last...i duno wan 2 lost them........

Am i thinking 2 much......haiz..who knws wat will happen in future....hehe.....

Old classmates

Yesterday i went to watch movie with my old classmates. I feel nothing actually, neither i feel weird nor strange. Just feel normal. We went to watch Meet the Dave at 12.30 noon. Before i went to watch movie, i got class, and Ms Liew bring us out to do research. 1st we went to boulevard, but the hypermarket is closed, so we went to coldstorage, at there we really feel no face. I wont ever want go back to that mall again.. wonder y?????????? bcoz..................i dun wan 2 say.....................

Ok...........go back 2 our topic.........after watching movie, we went to Tun Jugah, Parkson and places near there...Cant remember well....We have so many ppl and we all separate out. I oso duno i wat i do the whole afternoon wasting my time fooling around with those classmate. I dun really called them as fren, bcoz, we dun really owes chat, or really care for each other.

Then at nite, i went to Food fair. At there, i Leave the group.....i wan 2 be on my own and enjoy 2 be alone in the food fair. 1st time 2 go alone n buy so many food. Ha Ha...........And 1st time i go enjoy the view of garden n sit there and talk with bro kim. Ha ha..Im so happy and enjoy..... I oso got the chance walk with Bro Hui to the garden there. Ha ah.............well, got 2 bro wit me at the same time, i shld feel happy..........

Bt yest i dun really feel happy.......when talk with them, i feel my life is so complicated. In such a short period of time, many things have happen 2 me.........i feel so......i duno hw i feel, bt do feel i have gone through a lot of things in such a short period of time......who will ever know..........What a bad life i hav.....but i never blame any1, i dint blame the God, i oredi tink as simple as possible, try 2 hav a simply life as possible..........i really tired of my life..............really tired...................Wow, write until here oredi wan cry...........I think im not gonna proceed..........goodnite!!

1 month in Sedaya

This 1 month in Sedaya College really made me experience a lot of things. I get to knw many new friends and have a new prospect on life. Life seem different for me now because it is no longer same as in secondary school. We are like a big girls and boys there. No longer control by many strict rules.

I every Thursday will go out to eat wit my frends and we are having so much fun. Once in a week, i have to help college doing things oso bcoz i got apply for schlarship. N it is really fun when do it with many ppl. We oso very bsy doing assignment and experiments bt i no longer feel as stress as i in secondary school bcoz of exam. Dat time im the top student, i cannot lose even for 1 time, i really feel so much stress. Nw, i finally free coz i only compete wit myself. Well, there is also time i feel sad n depressed bcoz of a guy in my DBT class. He is so disturband and lik to disturb me. He oso lik 2 stick 2 me n i really scared of him. Im not gonna talk much abt dis guy and make my blog full of his bad things.

I oso have a new bro. At 1st, i never talk to him, only after recently we chat very often. He is nice and kind. We hav a lot of things in comman n i feel great ti hav him as my fren n bro. I wan tel him, 'welcome to my world' , bcoz i closed my world 2 any1 b4, nw im trying to open it to everyone. Maybe i cant really do it, bt i knw, Bui,Hui, Kim, Yimo, SWL, and LYY will knw my world very well. Bt bcoz some of them r my formal classmate, n we long time no c n keep in touch, there is a feeling of strange oredi.

2day im not very happy. Y ??? well, i dun wanna to mention. i really hope got some1 bside me, i just think 2 much. Nobody will be bside nw........ im all alone 2 cope wit everything. I wan cry,i wan tell the world hw cool my heart r nw, hw empty inside, bcoz nobody gonna knw hw hapi im in college. Hw lonely im, hw depressed im...........Mayb i dun seem unhappy, bt my heart told me to cry............ n i really cry.....hw stupid im...........Dun cry......

Ned 2 calm down, so hav 2 leave.......

Big Big World

I’m a big big girl in a big big world It’s not a big big thing if you leave me But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much miss you much…I can see the first leaf falling it’s all yellow and nice It’s so very cold outside like the way I’m feeling inside I’m a big big girl in a big big world It’s not a big big thing if you leave me But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much miss you much…Outside it’s now raining and tears are falling from my eyes Why did it have to happen why did it all have to end I’m a big big girl in a big big world It’s not a big big thing if you leave me But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much miss you much…I have your arms around me warm like fire But when I open my eyes you’re gone…I’m a big big girl in a big big world It’s not a big big thing if you leave me But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much miss you much

Chinese Valentine's day

2day is chinese valentine's day. Everyday 2day it will be raining bcoz of the couple who will only met once a year, so they feel sad n miss each other, so they cry....dat is wat my frend said...

well, i owes wanna find those two stars in the sky, bt it is cloudy, so cannot c.....haiz.... I duno wat 2 say, but i oso feel lik got a feeling inside my heart dat i wan 2 express it out...just simply duno hw...

A feeling of miss n love fill up my heart..... Loneliness,n happiness, sadness all are in my heart...n oso tiredness.... ha ha....

Mayb i will cont whn im not tired n ready to write............. or just leave it ........haha

What the hell with me ????????????

Talking about luv life shld not be involve in my life nw, bt i really miss something dat i ever gone through...Nw, everynight im watching a drama, n the couple inside ther make me think of many things. N the touching luv story from the goodybook make me more appreaciate wat i ever gone through. Bt i still hav 2 confess that i dun knw wat my heart wan, i only knw dat it is vry nice to be luv...I duno who i luv, i duno who i can luv, i oso duno y i wan 2 b in luv.............

Bt watching that drama something make me think of myself, i do feel heartache, and i feel the miss.......i hope 2 b with him........... i ned him........ bt i cannot do that........... i wan break up 1st, i luv other guy, im the 1 who r guilty and i cannot forgive myself.........

I duno wat shld i do............. izit true wat the book said? i hav depressent??? ...................... i realy duno...........i think i ned a psyco......

A wonderful day

Since i started my college life, im so bsy..even saturday and sunday oso need to do assignment.Althought we were given 1 week time,bt if i dun finish it 1st, later my workload will be getting more and more.Ok, lets forget abt it,lets talk about my wonderful day.

This morning i woke up and watched tv.I watched 'The Dread Dracula and....' i 4get the tittle..well,anyway,it is a nice movie. Then, i went to bath n had my lunch. Then, i went to do my assignment until my student came. I taught her for about 2 hours then i watched tv an read story. It is really a touching love story for me. I havent finish reading it because my dad want to bring me out. I wan to go boulevard, bt ther was a function goin on, so crowded, so i didnt manage to go.Then, i went 2 pc fair. It is so crowded oso..i hav to climb up n down the stair case.Haiz..my legs really tired...I saw my neighbour selling pc accessories at ther n a few familiar faces,bt didnt c those i wan 2 met.When i was abt to go back,my parents saw their old friends and me oso saw my friend Lian Kiat n his friends. He seem fatter..ha ha...sori to say dat...dun be angry..

At ther i oso can c firework, mayb is from the Kuching Fest...so beautiful, and tonight is so windy, the view ther oso are nice. I feel relax and enjoy. Just lik living in another world. I suddenly feel lik flying, very freedom and happy. Well, if got my love one with me, even nice. Bt, is nice oso to be alone. 2nite the city was so merrier...I really hope the time will stay ther, at that minute and stay at that second longer...I guess i knw wher i will go next time if im unhappy...So, my friends,do u knw wher to find me when im sad or angry..yea,taman kereta...ha ha...

Now happy time is past..ned to go back to my normal life, stop dreaming n keep working...i still hav a lot of assignment to do..im so lazy.......bt wat to do...